he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Randomize
