I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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