Whod you bang
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
two words...techno handjob
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
