bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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