if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We need to rekindle our bromance
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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