Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
