TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
