be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize