U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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