Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
