Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
