Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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