Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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