dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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