the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
