Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
