He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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