I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
