The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
