It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
one might say we're banned from that church
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
