told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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