Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
