It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
