he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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