Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
50% drunk capacity currently
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
