do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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