woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
