I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
