Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
