It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
