wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
