Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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