her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
