I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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