Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
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I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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