her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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