Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
