He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
