Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
