i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
