i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
