That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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