Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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