My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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