Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
