I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
