I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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