I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
