Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
