Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
