don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
