I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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