so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
