your thong is hanging out like whoa
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
