His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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