: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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