How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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