That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
