You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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