adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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