I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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