i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
