I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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